This is one of the ‘contemplative writings’ in my courses and workshops. You can read it from the heart, from the body, and receive something from it that is even deeper than the words.

“Life is not broken.” Just let it in, drink it up, allow your whole being to rest in the truth and simplicity of this wisdom.

Everything Has a Deep Dream
Rachel Naomi Remen

I’ve spent many years learning
how to fix life, only to discover
at the end of the day
that life is not broken.

There is a hidden seed of greater wholeness
in everyone and everything.
We serve life best
when we water it
and befriend it.
When we listen before we act.

In befriending life,
we do make things happen
according to our own design.
We uncover something that is already happening
in us and around us and
create conditions that enable it.

Everything is moving towards its place of wholeness
always struggling against odds.

Everything has a deep dream of itself and its fulfillment.

This is an email from the 8 week ‘Integrity of the Heart’ course:

I had a good coaching conversation with Sarah on Friday about ‘growing up.’ She was experiencing conflict and turmoil in herself, around the whole question of what it means to grow up and be responsible for your own life. When we looked a little more deeply at what was going on, Sarah was able to express quite clearly what growing up means for her right now: Being able to contribute in a genuine way to the lives of other people, and to be able to care for herself at the same time.

I thought this was a great description of human maturity.

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Dear friends:

This morning on our phone call for ‘ The Integrity of the Heart’ course, we were exploring the nature of radical responsibility--how it is to actually see or feel that we create our own experience, moment to moment. One of the participants spoke about a difficult situation she was engaged in at work, and how opening to the sense that she was creating her own experience, her own response, actually had an immediate impact on what evolved for her in this situation.

We looked at the distinction between reaction and response. When I react, even if I am not conscious of it, I am making myself a victim, thinking that life is unfair, too much, or that things should not be happening the way they are. When I respond, it does not mean that I will not feel pain, fear, or even anger, but my view of the world, and of life, is entirely different.

Nelson Mandela’s 26 years in prison and a forced labor camp are a great example of someone who did not behave like a victim. Instead, he related to his guards with genuine respect and loving kindness, day after day.  As a result, his guards became connected to him in such a way that they could not behave the way they were supposed to. They could not treat him as an object, as someone deserving punishment and brutality. The prison authorities had to keep replacing them with new guards.

One of the participants on the call spoke about how the understanding that we are responsible for our own experience created blame and self-judgment. We spoke about how this is just another extreme point of view. When we are resting in awareness, we can see so clearly that we create our own experience, and there is no blame or judgment attached to that seeing. Creating our own experience does not mean we create the events in our lives! And it does not mean that we can control the thoughts and feelings that arise in us. That is taking far too much responsibility--it’s a distorted view that leads to more suffering.

We spoke about the clarity that allows us to see that the voices in our head, and all the different points of view, are not our fault--these conditions are usually passed down to us through our whole genetic lineage. We have been trained to react in this way from a very young age. So these conditions, these ways of reacting, are not as personal as we think they are.

What a remarkable place to find myself:  a human being who is truly willing to see that I am the one who creates my own experience. I realize that I am not a victim, and I also see that I did not create the conditioning that arises when I fall into reactivity. Can I control my experience? No. This is the crucial point we return to again and again. Then what does it mean to say that I am responsible?

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