Lifeletters

Dear Shayla,

Thanks for sending these wonderful Lifeletters.  I always enjoy them.  I thought you might like this description of the ego by Baba Hari Dass:

“ The Self is the sovereign;
nature is its kingdom;
mind and intellect are ministers;
and ego is the governor,
which rules for its own self-interest.”

Love,
Michael

Dear Shayla,
re: ‘The ego is like a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions..’
In support of your original letter, I thought this was an excellent sentence. Since all human behaviour rests on the ego, to transform large negative-impact corporations, we should be looking at our own addictions. We vote to add to their power every time we open our wallet in their direction.
I take your friend’s point that there are good corporations, but, heck, the bad ones have such huge negative impact this needs naming and addressing.
Perhaps there should be another word created for ‘good corporations.’
Kaia

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Dear readers and friends:

As soon as I sent out my lifeletter today, I realized there was one sentence I wanted to change: ‘The ego is like a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions..’ My use of the word corporation was a generalization, and therefore a distortion of the way things actually are. I want to make it very clear that there are some wonderful corporations on our planet.

One of my readers, Trevor Giles, noticed the same thing. A copy of his email is below.

Shayla,

Thanks for this. I really enjoy these. I did want to make a comment about the following line “every ego is a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions, endlessly moving away from the feeling at the core”.

I hear a lot of less than positive comments from people in Nelson about
“corporations” and the comment above seems to fall into that category. I really wish we could all move away from this idea that corporations are souless empty creatures. Corporations are two things. The first being a taxation structure on paper and the second being a collection of people with a common business goal.

I will not delve into the taxation issue except to say that there is no such thing as a tax write-off that did not cost money in some shape or form and that for a corporation to not pay any taxes simply meant they did not make any money or that they lost money in a previous year.

As for the collection of people, this is what makes or breaks a Corporation. No different than it makes or breaks a church, a non-profit society, or any other collection of individuals with a common goal, business or not. There are many Corporations that have very deep souls and are very in touch with their people, their world, and their customers, and their core ideals. Take Patagonia, the clothing maker and the many other positive examples that exist. I believe it is not fair to broad brush Corporations in the manner above.

Corporations are typically a reflection of their leadership and the people who ultimately work for them, no different than the Catholic Church is a function of its Leader and its preists. There are always good and bad examples of every form of organization. That is just the nature of the world.

Respectfully,

Trevor Giles

Please print this lifeletter if you can. It is meant to be held in your hand.

Enough

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.

Until now.

(David Whyte)

These days it seems to me that this tiny word ‘enough’ is like a mantra, a power packed seed syllable, a doorway into another universe, if we are willing to contemplate and work with it. A while ago I was talking to my daughter about the endless greed and destruction of the global corporations. “What’s driving them?” I asked her. “How come a billion dollars isn’t enough?”

“Don’t you get it?” she said. (Thank you Coco) “It’s an addiction. When is there enough cocaine? Enough alcohol? Enough sugar?”

Those bright cool moments of clarity. How sweet they are, and how they continue to blossom and deepen. Since then I’ve realized that every ego is a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions, endlessly moving away from the feeling at the core: “I’m not enough. This moment is not enough. Something is missing.”

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I was working with a beautiful group of women this spring, exploring what it is to listen and express from the heart. We were opening to the simplicity of just being present for whatever shows up, without any agenda of our own. Of course it’s not so easy to just snap your fingers and make all your egoic agendas vanish, but with a lot of willingness, many of our habitual preoccupations were falling away.  At one point one of the women said to me, “But we do have agendas.”

“Of course, “ I said, “sometimes agendas are appropriate.”
“Then what to do?” she asked, “Try to get rid of them, one by one?”
“No,” I said, “that kind of practice will only create conflict. What you can do is just keep noticing, not with your mind, but with your whole being- heart, body and breath. Notice how it feels when you have an agenda, an expectation, a demand, and notice how it feels when you don’t.”

After saying that, my own awareness seemed to open to a deeper level. I began to notice in such a simple way how my body feels when I am holding any kind of agenda. There’s a tightness, a hardness, a solidity. When I am simply present, everything softens, expands. Without making any kind of value judgment in the mind, my body simply recognizes the basic sanity of being present. It feels good. The more I noticed, the more I could feel my deeper being returning to presence, again and again, all by itself. In some spiritual teachings, this natural movement is called ‘the homing instinct.’ (I first heard it expressed this way in ‘The Radiant Mind’ course with Peter Fenner.)

Without a sense of this natural movement inside us, life can be quite bewildering. I was talking to a brilliant young woman in France last week. When I asked her what she wanted, she replied with great candor, “Shayla, that is the most terrifying question of all.” Her response was so genuine that it stayed with me, and I pondered it for days. I realized that the vast majority of the people I work with do not have a clear sense of what they really want. Isn’t that amazing? There is often a sense of shame or helplessness that comes along with this, as if this not knowing is a sign of something wrong, a flaw or weakness. In my heart I know that this is not true, that there is another way to look at this phenomenon. How could so many people not know what they really want?

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Sometimes I think when people look back at this time on earth, they’re going to call it ‘The Age of Uncertainty.’ It feels like we’re living in a bubbling cauldron of change. Remember that ride at the fun park that whirled you around and then removed the floor? It seems like the ground we’ve been standing on is getting pretty shaky.

Many of the people I work with struggle with survival anxiety. Sometimes I do too. Our survival personalities are very strong and deep. They want safety, security, approval, and known quantities to live by. These are very natural human urges. The only thing is, they have nothing to do with the deeper impulses of the heart, soul and spirit.

I read a great book a while ago, called ‘Deep Survival.’ It is a well documented and researched account of who makes it through drastic survival situations, and why. It touched on all kinds of wilderness disasters, concentration camp episodes, and 9/11.

What the author discovered is not what you would think. In all these situations, it was not the well- trained and experienced ones who survived. It was the people who could remain present, and respond creatively, from their intuitive wisdom. That really got to me. Presence and creativity are the foundation stones for all the work I do. I’ve always known that they are essential for our evolution and awakening. I didn’t know that they were essential for our survival.

Deep Survival

Sometimes I think when people look back at this time on earth, they’re going to call it ‘The Age of Uncertainty.’ It feels like we’re living in a bubbling cauldron of change. Remember that ride at the fun park that whirled you around and then removed the floor? It seems like the ground we’ve been standing on is getting pretty shaky.

Many of the people I work with struggle with survival anxiety. Sometimes I do too. Our survival personalities are very strong and deep. They want safety, security, approval, and known quantities to live by. These are very natural human urges. The only thing is, they have nothing to do with the deeper impulses of the heart, soul and spirit.

I read a great book a while ago, called ‘Deep Survival.’ It is a well documented and researched account of who makes it through drastic survival situations, and why. It touched on all kinds of wilderness disasters, concentration camp episodes, and 9/11.

What the author discovered is not what you would think. In all these situations, it was not the well- trained and experienced ones who survived. It was the people who could remain present, and respond creatively, from their intuitive wisdom. That really got to me. Presence and creativity are the foundation stones for all the work I do. I’ve always known that they are essential for our evolution and awakening. I didn’t know that they were essential for our survival.

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I’ve been lucky enough over the past six years to have 5 children born in my immediate neighborhood. I’ve witnessed a lot of natural and exuberant learning and evolution, right in my own back yard. Isn’t it amazing to think that every human being walking around on our planet learned how to walk in the same way: by standing up and falling over, standing up, taking a step and falling over, again and again and again.

Then we start thinking, once we’re a bit older, that our learning should proceed in an entirely different manner. Sometimes it does, but there is still a lot of falling down and getting up that is an essential part of human life. Have you noticed this? Learning to accept this aspect of life as a given and work with it in a good way can release a lot of our suffering. Molly Gordon, a wonderful coach I have worked with, speaks about learning how to “bow to failure.” When we bow to our failures, we look a little deeper than how things first appear. We get curious enough about the nature of life to consider that perhaps failure is not something to be shunned and avoided at all costs. What if our failures bring us something just as valuable as our successes? This has been a big learning for me, and I’d like to share some of it here.

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Please print this lifeletter if you can. It is meant to be held in your hand.

Dear friends:
This lifeletter is an introduction to the whole process of evolution and transformation, as I have engaged in it and witnessed it over a lifetime. This lifeletter is a bit longer than usual, even though I’ve made this description quite short and simple. I’ve used ‘aphorisms’ or compressed statements that can be expanded and unfolded by each one of you as you read this. 

I’ve spoken of our evolution in the context of coaching as I have experienced it, and as I practice it, but of course it can also happen quite spontaneously.

There are a multitude of ways to approach this subject. This is one window into a vast realm. Looking through it may be helpful to some of you. I hope so.

‘And the day came when the risk to remain in the bud
became more painful than the risk it took to blossom.’ (Anais Nin)

Introduction

Barefoot Coaching is offered in these areas:
· Personal evolution
· Relationships
· Communication and Expression
· Non-dual spirituality
· Writing

Barefoot Coaching begins with a vision of you standing here with a foot in both worlds: the formless world of spirit, or Being, and the constantly evolving world of your humanity. To grow into the wholeness of your true nature is to learn how to embrace and honor both of these aspects.

I’m a coach who engages you, my client, in a process of deep learning, where all of you gets involved-body, mind, emotions and spirit. I have had over 20 years of experience in supporting your ‘evolutionary impulse’ the natural movement in you toward wholeness, freedom and integrity. I’m interested in helping people evolve, heal and awaken in new and surprising ways right now.

This process carries us beyond problem solving, to a place where we can all participate fully in life, and in creating a future that allows us to take care of each other and our planet.

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A few years ago, when the Olympic games were in Athens, I was watching them one night on T.V. The American commentator decided to give us a taste of Athenian life, so he walked down to the main square with the T.V. cameras. It was about 5pm, and the square was just filling up for the evening. There were children skipping rope and playing tag, teenagers on skateboards, mothers with babies in their arms, students drinking coffee, businessmen with newspapers and liqueurs, and old men playing chess. He strolled for a few minutes around the square, taking in the vitality and general friendliness of the scene.

What I noticed was how many people were actively engaged in talking with each other. Not the cursory cell phone kind of conversation we are so used to now, but real dialogue. It intrigued me so much that I lost interest in the games. When they were over, the same commentator went back to the square at one in the morning, “just for fun” he said. “We’ll see who’s left.”

He was astounded to find that the square was still full, and not because of the games. The mothers and young children had gone home, but they had been replaced by people of all ages who were still talking. This was quite unfathomable to the commentator. Finally he approached a white haired Greek patriarch, who stood up to speak with him. “Excuse me sir,” said the American, “could I ask you a few questions?”
“Of course,” the man beamed. “What would you like to know?” He was a remarkably tall and handsome fellow, towering above the American.
“What do you do here all night long?”
“We enjoy each other’s company,” the Greek replied. We laugh, we sing, and we engage in dialogue. We are eager to find out what is in each other’s hearts and minds.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
“Will you be on time for work in the morning?” the American asked.
“Of course,” the patriarch replied with a huge smile. “But we Greeks have a different understanding of time and work than you North Americans.”

A few years later, I spent some time running a series of conversation cafes in our community. My intention was to bring as much of the community together as possible, and create an environment where they could engage in dialogue. I had been living in India for 25 years, where dialogue and inquiry are like part of the air you breathe. The people in India, like those in Greece, are not afraid to ask what I call ‘the big questions.’ As my teacher there used to say, “Any rickshaw driver will talk to you about God, life and the universe.”

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