Last night my partner Jonathan and I had a very simple and powerful conversation. As we were preparing dinner he said, “I’m really struggling inside myself.”

“What’s going on?” I asked him.

“I’m experiencing a global feeling of resentment, and I don’t like it at all.”

“Can you change it? “ I asked him. “Can you actually choose the feelings that arise in you, moment to moment?”

“Well, I’m telling myself that I should be able to, that I should be able to choose something else right now, other than this resentment.”

“But is that true?” I asked him. “If you ask the part of you that really knows, can you actually exercise that kind of control over your experience?”

He paused for a moment and dropped inside himself. “No,” he said, “I can’t. The only thing I have control over is how I respond to what arises.”

“And what happens,” I asked him, “when you focus on not liking that feeling and wanting it to go away?”

“It gets worse.” he said, “It feels solid and compacted.”

“And for me, “ I said, “ in relation to difficult feelings, I often get caught in wanting to know why-why am I feeling like this, what is this really about? But as long as I am resisting what is, there is no insight, just suffering.  When I finally stop struggling, and open to whatever is here-then directly out of the experience itself, insights begin to flow.”

“Yes, “ he said, dropping his shoulders, and taking a deep breath, “that’s just how it is. When I decide that I can’t stand my present experience, I end up being resentful about being resentful!”

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Live your life in a spirit of openness, confidence, and determination.

In many of the ancient, indigenous traditions, the fall was understood to be the beginning of the year. As the harvest comes in, and we receive what we have sown, what has flourished and blossomed begins to return to the root, and a whole new cycle of life begins. New beginnings are an exciting time, and they are also full of challenges. In order to begin, we often need to learn how to release, forgive and let go of the past.

The Chinese sages called this part of life, ‘Difficulty at the Beginning,’ and compared it to the energy and vitality that a tender young shoot needs when it first pierces through the seed, or a young chick when it pecks its way out of the egg.

It’s not necessary to do this all by yourself. That’s why autumn is an optimal time for personal coaching sessions and numerology and human design readings.

These sessions can help you focus, inquire, listen to what is calling you right now, and open to the nature of your natural gifts and deepest resources.

These sessions can also help you achieve completion in your life, learn to stop ‘tolerating’ what is no longer working for you, and open to new ways to being and moving in the world. Achieving completion opens a clear space from which to manifest your deepest intentions- to act decisively, from the heart, without ambivalence and doubt.

Please call me if you have questions: 250.352.7908. or 1. 866.795.4968

For more info re Human Design and Numerology Readings and Barefoot Coaching, visit these sections on my website: http://www.barefootjourneys.net

I’ve been in love with inquiry for long time. Whenever someone asks me a real question, a question from the depths of their being, it’s just like receiving a priceless gift.

I received such a gift when I was speaking on the phone last week with a dear friend. He asked me if I was familiar with the work of Byron Katie.  I said I was, and that I have engaged in what she calls ‘The Work,’ her particular form of inquiry.

“Well, “ he said, ‘I enjoy listening to her very much, but there’s one thing she keeps saying that I just can’t go along with. It does make sense when I listen to her interacting with people. But afterwards I really wonder about it.”
“About what?” I asked him.
“It’s when she says that reality is always benevolent,” he said.
“Oh yes, “ I said. “I’ve heard her say, “In the face of everything that appears to be real, only kindness remains.”
“I understand,” replied my friend, “ that to say things are bad is just the mind making up a story about what is. But it also seems like a story to say that life is kind. Let’s face it, life can be very cruel sometimes.”

I realized in that moment what a big question that is : Is Reality kind?
Is the Universe benevolent? Some people might think it ridiculous to try and answer such a question, or that we should leave such questions to the philosophers. The truth is, we are all philosophers, and many of us have experienced the answers to these deep questions emerging out of our whole experience of life. Sometimes we’re not conscious of what we assume or believe about life, but our answers to such questions affect every aspect of how we live and experience the world.

I watched this week, as this question from my friend came alive in me, crawled deep into my heart, and would not let me alone.

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Dear Shayla,

Thanks for sending these wonderful Lifeletters.  I always enjoy them.  I thought you might like this description of the ego by Baba Hari Dass:

“ The Self is the sovereign;
nature is its kingdom;
mind and intellect are ministers;
and ego is the governor,
which rules for its own self-interest.”

Love,
Michael

Dear Shayla,
re: ‘The ego is like a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions..’
In support of your original letter, I thought this was an excellent sentence. Since all human behaviour rests on the ego, to transform large negative-impact corporations, we should be looking at our own addictions. We vote to add to their power every time we open our wallet in their direction.
I take your friend’s point that there are good corporations, but, heck, the bad ones have such huge negative impact this needs naming and addressing.
Perhaps there should be another word created for ‘good corporations.’
Kaia

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Dear readers and friends:

As soon as I sent out my lifeletter today, I realized there was one sentence I wanted to change: ‘The ego is like a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions..’ My use of the word corporation was a generalization, and therefore a distortion of the way things actually are. I want to make it very clear that there are some wonderful corporations on our planet.

One of my readers, Trevor Giles, noticed the same thing. A copy of his email is below.

Shayla,

Thanks for this. I really enjoy these. I did want to make a comment about the following line “every ego is a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions, endlessly moving away from the feeling at the core”.

I hear a lot of less than positive comments from people in Nelson about
“corporations” and the comment above seems to fall into that category. I really wish we could all move away from this idea that corporations are souless empty creatures. Corporations are two things. The first being a taxation structure on paper and the second being a collection of people with a common business goal.

I will not delve into the taxation issue except to say that there is no such thing as a tax write-off that did not cost money in some shape or form and that for a corporation to not pay any taxes simply meant they did not make any money or that they lost money in a previous year.

As for the collection of people, this is what makes or breaks a Corporation. No different than it makes or breaks a church, a non-profit society, or any other collection of individuals with a common goal, business or not. There are many Corporations that have very deep souls and are very in touch with their people, their world, and their customers, and their core ideals. Take Patagonia, the clothing maker and the many other positive examples that exist. I believe it is not fair to broad brush Corporations in the manner above.

Corporations are typically a reflection of their leadership and the people who ultimately work for them, no different than the Catholic Church is a function of its Leader and its preists. There are always good and bad examples of every form of organization. That is just the nature of the world.

Respectfully,

Trevor Giles

Please print this lifeletter if you can. It is meant to be held in your hand.

Enough

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.

Until now.

(David Whyte)

These days it seems to me that this tiny word ‘enough’ is like a mantra, a power packed seed syllable, a doorway into another universe, if we are willing to contemplate and work with it. A while ago I was talking to my daughter about the endless greed and destruction of the global corporations. “What’s driving them?” I asked her. “How come a billion dollars isn’t enough?”

“Don’t you get it?” she said. (Thank you Coco) “It’s an addiction. When is there enough cocaine? Enough alcohol? Enough sugar?”

Those bright cool moments of clarity. How sweet they are, and how they continue to blossom and deepen. Since then I’ve realized that every ego is a mini-corporation, driven by its own addictions, endlessly moving away from the feeling at the core: “I’m not enough. This moment is not enough. Something is missing.”

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I was working with a beautiful group of women this spring, exploring what it is to listen and express from the heart. We were opening to the simplicity of just being present for whatever shows up, without any agenda of our own. Of course it’s not so easy to just snap your fingers and make all your egoic agendas vanish, but with a lot of willingness, many of our habitual preoccupations were falling away.  At one point one of the women said to me, “But we do have agendas.”

“Of course, “ I said, “sometimes agendas are appropriate.”
“Then what to do?” she asked, “Try to get rid of them, one by one?”
“No,” I said, “that kind of practice will only create conflict. What you can do is just keep noticing, not with your mind, but with your whole being- heart, body and breath. Notice how it feels when you have an agenda, an expectation, a demand, and notice how it feels when you don’t.”

After saying that, my own awareness seemed to open to a deeper level. I began to notice in such a simple way how my body feels when I am holding any kind of agenda. There’s a tightness, a hardness, a solidity. When I am simply present, everything softens, expands. Without making any kind of value judgment in the mind, my body simply recognizes the basic sanity of being present. It feels good. The more I noticed, the more I could feel my deeper being returning to presence, again and again, all by itself. In some spiritual teachings, this natural movement is called ‘the homing instinct.’ (I first heard it expressed this way in ‘The Radiant Mind’ course with Peter Fenner.)

Without a sense of this natural movement inside us, life can be quite bewildering. I was talking to a brilliant young woman in France last week. When I asked her what she wanted, she replied with great candor, “Shayla, that is the most terrifying question of all.” Her response was so genuine that it stayed with me, and I pondered it for days. I realized that the vast majority of the people I work with do not have a clear sense of what they really want. Isn’t that amazing? There is often a sense of shame or helplessness that comes along with this, as if this not knowing is a sign of something wrong, a flaw or weakness. In my heart I know that this is not true, that there is another way to look at this phenomenon. How could so many people not know what they really want?

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Dear -----

Here is an on-going inquiry for you to engage in: 

Drop each question into the body, into the heart, into your being, and then just breathe, relax and listen for what comes up in response. Allow yourself not to know as you listen. Be ready to discover something new about yourself.

Don’t put pressure on your mind to answer these questions. It will try to, but the real answer comes along with a felt sense in the body.

· What do I want?
· What has this present way of being cost me?
· What small steps could I take in my life that feel do-able, not overwhelming, in the direction of aliveness, newness, and creativity? (example: How could I start off my day differently?  Could I go to work a different way? Could I change the furniture around in one room? Could I write for ten minutes a day?)

Play with these questions. Put them on your fridge, your computer and your bathroom mirror. Live with them, and see what gifts they bring you. Any question you have the courage to live with, will bring you gifts, sooner or later.