In my work as a coach and teacher, I’ve been exploring free expression and inquiry for decades.

Free expression is our capacity to express ourselves fully, without holding back. To speak from a space that is unconditioned by our fear of other people’s judgements, and even our own. Free expression is spontaneous, natural and uncontrived. It’s a flow, and it can be bumpy, challenging, and ultimately deeply enlivening and full of joy.

The nature of free inquiry is similar. In order to inquire, to question, to deeply investigate, we need the kind of innocence and freedom a young child has. We need to be able to ask our real questions, the ones that are alive and compelling for us, without caring about how this looks, without needing to be seen as intelligent, or wise, of kind.

What stands in the way of our capacity for free expression and inquiry? Our self-image. The way we want to appear, and the way we don’t want to appear. Our self image is not who we really are. It’s constructed. Our authentic being, the transparency of our true nature, has no image. It is open, and without any need to defend or protect itself.

The self image is defensive, and touchy. It is built on a deep sense of inadequacy, a feeling of not being good enough. Everyone feels like this. Every single egoic being struggles with this, whether they recognize it or not.  Sometimes it is fully conscious. And sometimes all the things we do to compensate for this sense of inadequacy cover up this aching hole, for a while. Maybe for half a lifetime. Until something happens and our sense of being flawed or lacking comes to the surface.

Without being confined to a self image, we are naturally, effortlessly authentic.

In the work I have done for the last 35 years, it has been apparent that speaking freely, especially in a group setting, does not come easily to most people. We are too afraid of what others might think of us. A lot of the time fear comes from our own self-judgements, which we project on the people listening to us. We can learn to access wonderful states of consciousness, we can achieve a lot, we can do all kinds of work on ourselves, without discovering this freedom to inquire and to express ourselves, without holding back.

The truth about speaking up, about letting ourselves be seen and heard, is that we have no control. I cannot control what you are going to think of me if I speak up.  And I can’t control what I am going to think of myself!  All kind of self-judgements might arise after I express myself. Many people have told me that they hear voices inside their head attacking them, after they speak in a group.

In some of the courses and retreats I have offered, we have worked with a confidentiality agreement. Everyone agrees to keep whatever happens within the group totally confidential.

There are obviously very good reasons for doing this. It appears to create a container in which people feel safer, and more able to speak and inquire without fear.

Lately I have been questioning this whole approach. Because I’ve noticed that even when the confidentiality agreement is in place, many people in the group do not speak up, do not engage, do not share, and do not allow themselves to fully participate. They remain silent, unwilling to take the risk, unwilling to feel the discomfort that comes when we express ourselves, when we inquire deeply.

Free expression is a flow. And if I allow that flow, there is no way I can protect my self image. I could easily say something that appears stupid, or unkind, or insensitive, or irrelevant. I am not perfect,and never will be. And neither are you. In order to open to the free flow of our authentic being, we have to be willing to fail, to fall down, to make mistakes, to be fully human.

This is how we discover our fundamental freedom, our unshakeable well being. Even when I make a mistake in front of others, even when I sound a bit crazy to myself, I survive the moment. And not only survive, i discover that I’m fine. That others have already forgotten about me. I’m not as important as I thought I was. My failures and my flaws are not the central focus of everyone else’s life. They are only hugely significant to me!

So this practice, of free expression and inquiry builds courage in us, and humility, and freedom. We may think that it is someone else we are protecting when we don’t speak up, when we don’t ask our real questions. I invite you to really question this. I think, most of the time, what we are really protecting and defending is our self image.

Who are you without this image of who you would like to be? Or this image of what is wrong with you?

Who are you when there is nothing to defend, nothing to prove, nothing to know?

Isn’t it worth finding out?